Chris the Creep takes a look at the latest releases for the week of May 9...
Another week, another batch of new movies in the theaters. Last week, marked by Iron Man, summer movie season officially started - from here on out you can expect HUGE releases every week for the next few months. ranging from The Hulk , to Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, to The Dark Knight, to Hancock.
This week is no exception, as the long-hyped cartoon adaptation Speed Racer hits the big screen today in a big fasion! But will it measure up to the monumental Iron Man, which grossed $100.7 MILLION in its opening weekend alone? I doubt it, but read on...
From the boys (boy and former boy? Whichever.) that brought you The Matrix trilogy, The Wachowski's are back, to add to the long list of childhood memories raped by the big screen. If you grew up watching the 70s cartoon Speed Racer, you've probably had your hopes up for this for the past year+ since it was announced going into production - well, hopes down! Early reviews are saying "Yar, She BLOWS!" in Speed Racer's general direction. The only upside of seeing this flick is the visuals and the inevitable seisures.
Another visually intense flick, The Fall comes from the same minds that brought you the trippy Jennifer Lopez movie The Cell, where a psychiatrist goes into the mind of a serial killer to get totally whacked on acid and LSD. In The fall, a man tells a story of intreague and heroism to a little girl, and we follow her imaginary concept of the events being told... check the preview to see what I mean by the visuals...
Well, in a dramatic turn and stretch of acting chops, Ashton Kutcher goes out on a limb and plays... a dumbass who gets married. Haven't we seen this before? Guess Who, My Boss's Daughter, Just Married... I'm beginning to think Ashton is just as good at playing the "strange newlywed" as Steve Carell is at playing "awkward guy". At least he's matched up with Cameron Dias, so there'll be a bit of eye-candy, as long as the camera stays far enough away from her to not highlight her horrible skin...
Well this week looks like diaper runoff... I recommend going to see Iron Man again! If you haven't seen it already, it's better than all three of these films. If you want to see Kutcher be funny, watch That 70s Show. If you want to see something trippy, you know how to do that. And if you want to see a shitty flick with good visuals, rent The Matrix 3.
